Loss

I lost another corydoras catfish this morning.

 For a while it seemed like he was going to fight, but his color was awful, and he stopped going up for air, and was just laying on the bottom on his side, gulping air. I scooped him out and put him in a large jar by himself, so I could observe him better. Shortly after the move, he started quivering a bit, and then stopped breathing. He wasn't moving at all. I know that fish can continue to live without physically drawing the water through their gills, just by the water moving around them, but I doubted that that would be a fun existence, so I took action and helped him cross over.

I don't know if I did the right thing. I have the feeling he was already dead when I added the clove oil to his water. But I don't know.

The other two catfish are thriving beautifully, pink and hefty. This guy was pale and emaciated. Sigh.

 He's now buried in the yard underneath a big holly tree with his other catfish friend.

I hope he’s in a happy place.

-Lulu, who is wondering why on earth she puts herself through this.