I Am Thankful for Stupid Dogs

I am thankful for stupid dogs.

I am thankful for the dog who is stupid enough to eat absolutely anything.  He cleans the floor.  He prevents wastefulness from picky toddlers by consuming their leftovers in the name of training.  He will work hard for anything from steak fat, hot dogs and freeze-dried liver, to raw mushrooms, soggy, cold zucchini and dried apples.  He also provides endless hours of contemplation on the subject of why strange things taste good to dogs.  Things like diapers, play-dough, crayons and quick-start fire logs.  He gives us reason to keep ourselves up-to-date on the toxicity of various household objects.

I am thankful that diapers, play-dough, crayons and quick-start fire logs are non-toxic.

I am thankful that quick-start fire logs aren’t toxic the second time around either.

I am thankful for the dog who is stupid enough to be terrified of the bathroom, despite the fact that he loves taking a bath.  He teaches patience and tolerance of irrational fears in others.  He gives me reason to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, thus realizing how dirty it is, and cleaning it.

I am thankful for the dog who is stupid enough to want me to pet him ALL THE TIME.  He makes me laugh by enduring all manner of embarrassments in the name of earning oochies.  Things like getting a sock on his nose while I’m getting dressed, becoming the illustrious Elephant Dog.

I am thankful for the dog who is stupid enough to shed profusely at the beginning of winter as well as at the beginning of summer.  He makes me vacuum as often as I should be doing it all year.  Someday I’ll have enough fur collected to have a scarf made.  I could probably get enough to make a comforter.  For a giant.

I am thankful for the dog who is stupid enough to hold perfectly still while popcorn is balanced all over his body, just so he can eat it when we say so.

I am thankful for little red wagons and dogs that are stupid enough to think that pulling them is fun, not work.

I am thankful for all the wonderful medicines that keep the old, achy, arthritic dogs feeling young.

I am thankful for the dog who is stupid enough to think that pills wrapped in lunchmeat are treats.

I am thankful for stupid dogs and the goofy grins they give us after they turn around and smack their heads on the doorjambs.  It makes me feel better about stubbing my toe or whacking my elbow.

I am thankful for stupid dogs.

If dogs were smart, they would be infinitely less fun to have around.  The world needs stupid dogs.  They make us laugh.  They give us things to ponder.  They teach us understanding and patience.  They make us feel better when we do something stupid.  Most of all, they enrich our lives in ways no other beings possibly could.

Thank God for stupid dogs and the people who care for them!